You have two cows...!
ANARCHISMYou have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.
ARISTOCRACYYou have two cows. You sell both and buy one, really big, pedigree cow. You make a law that you also receive your original cows back.
BUREAUCRACYYou have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.
CAPITALISM: DUBAI You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legitimate and shady investors who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years' time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cows first to attract attention.
CAPITALISM: SAUDI ARABIAYou have two cows. Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all cows in public.
CAPITALISM: USAYou have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Whilst you were busy the two cows wondered in front of a petrochemical transportation, were severely injured, but regardless are detained indefinitely for being Eco-terrorists.
CAPITALISM: UKYou have two cows. They are crazy. You sell them in Europe, declaring that there is no problem from BSE in your country. You blame terrorists.
CENTRALISMYou have two cows. And a problem finding them in the middle of the field with 100,000,000 other cows.
CONSERVATIVISMYou have two cows. You lock them up and charge people to look at them. You give the richest tax breaks to look at them more often.
COMMUNISMYou have two cows. The state takes both and milks them. It gives you the milk... once.
DEMOCRACYYou have two cows. They outvote you 2 to 1, resulting in a ban upon all meat and dairy products.
DICTATORSHIPYou have two cows. The government takes them. If you complain the cow secret service take you during the night.
EUROPEAN UNIONISM   You have two cows. You are not allowed to sell their milk & have to pay fines for overshooting your quota of "Greenhouse gas emissions from flatulent cows." You are arrested as the currency you paid the fine in has since collapsed.
FASCISMYou have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.
FEUDALISMYou have two cows. Your lord owns them. He takes the milk.
INDUSTRIALISMYou have two cows. You dissect them both and figure out how to build a milk-factory instead.
INNOVATIONISMYou have two cows. You patent "cow" and claim license fees for all the cows of the world.
LIBERALISMYou have two cows. You sell both to the rich. The government then taxes the rich one cow and gives it to the poor.
LIBERTARIANISMGo away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.
MARXISM/LENINISMThe proletarian cows unite and overthrow the bourgeoisie cowherds. The egalitarian democratic cow revolutionary state with the cow party as vanguard disintegrate over time. Marx choked on a veggie-burger before he could explain what happens to the use-value, exchange-value and sign-value of bovine leather.
NAZISMYou have two cows. The government takes both and then shoots you. Then it shoots them.
NEW DEALISMYou have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and pours the milk down the sink. The government insists there is a giant storage tank where all the milk goes.
PACIFISMYou have two cows. You love them. They stampede you.
SOCIALISMYou have two cows. The government takes one of them and gives it to your neighbour who has none.
TALIBANISMYou have two cows. The government shoots them because  "they are Hindu religious symbols." 
UNITED NATIONISMYou have two cows. One bites the other. France and Germany impose milk sanctions on you. China and Russia abstain. The USA and UK bomb the culprit cow. Then you. Then steal your cow. No other country was on the security council to stop it all happening.